Here we go!

So, I'm new to the blogging world. But as I've searched for blogs about others' CI (Cochlear Implant) journeys, I've realized I would love to create my own. For myself; to catalog my journey, and for others; to help them should they embark on this journey some day.

Some background: I was born hearing. I lived in an abusive home and suffered Traumatic Deafness at 8 years old due to a head injury. At 10 years old, surgery was performed to repair the ossicles (ear bones). This returned to me some hearing in my right ear. This remained stable for many years. At 22, I received my first pair of hearing aids. They opened up a world of communication, which had always been difficult for me. In the last year, however, my hearing has declined greatly. I am now Deaf again. I received a much more powerful hearing aid at the beginning of this summer, which helped me cope with this decline. In the last couple of months, however, I have noticed more decline. I have not been back to the Audiologist to see exactly how much, but it is on my To-Do list. In the Spring of 2012, I had begun pursuing a Cochlear Implant. We made an appointment at a highly-regarded clinic in Los Angeles. At my first appointment, they chose to do another Audiogram. This Audiogram came back saying I could hear twice as well as I could. Impossible seeing as my hearing aid, set at an astounding 120dB, would have caused me great pain if my loss was what they determined it to be. To sort out this confusion, they scheduled me for an ABR test (Auditory Brainstem Response). This test requires no response from me, my brain tells them what I hear on its own. I later found out they ordered this test to prove I was faking being deaf. So, we returned for the test, and the results showed I didn't hear a thing. Still convinced I was a faker, they scheduled me to come back and take the same test again. Um, nope! My Mom and I decided on the way home that we were through with them. We did some more research and scheduled an appointment elsewhere. Before the appointment, however, I decided that I wanted to postpone getting a CI for a couple of years, so that I would not be deterred from becoming fluent in ASL. That was many months ago. I have very recently changed my mind. My brother, sister, brother-in-law, and my brother's long-time girlfriend, live out-of-state and are visiting for Christmas. This is the first time I've seen them since my hearing took its dive back in June, as well as again in November. This time has made me realize just how much I'm missing. I cannot hold a conversation that is more than one-on-one or one-on-two. This leaves me missing out on a lot of conversations, as well as being perpetually lost. Outside of my family, I have stopped attending my bible study due to the great difficulty of communicating. I have switched to attending the Deaf Church within my home church because I simply couldn't hear anymore. I'm still lost in Deaf Church as I do not yet know enough ASL to fully understand, nor can I hear the Interpreter. In the future, I want to be a Foster Parent, as well as run a home Preschool. These things will be greatly difficult without the ability to communicate effectively (I can lipread but not without at least some auditory cues). This has left me at the conclusion that I need to continue my pursuit for a CI. I want to stay connected to the hearing world, while also continuing to connect with the Deaf world. As I was born hearing, I fight between wanting to be completely deaf and immersed in the Deaf community and wanting to he completely hearing so as not to feel disconnected from the majority of the people in my life. I have finally decided that I can have both. I can connect with the hearing world through a CI, and simply remove it whenever I feel like not hearing anymore (I put my hearing aid on Mute quite frequently).

So, here I stand. At the beginning of this journey yet again. We will not be scheduling surgery until the Summer due to the recovery time, and will be using this semester to get through all of the testing and evaluations. I will keep this blog updated as things progress!